Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Rewind back to dec 2005 ...written on Tuesday, April 25, 2006

rewind back to december 27 2005
Category: Life

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Loneliness...
Current mood: depressed
Category: Romance and Relationships

Lonely

Staring through life's window,
Watching the days go by,
Who has watched the stars at night
And wanted just to cry?
The deep, dark nights familiar,
The days so bright aren't fair,
I'm sure life's passing me by,
But I'm not sure that I care...
Who has witnessed something
So pleasant and so sane,
Yet felt so damn removed
And been aching with pain?
The advice doesn't do much,
In the way that I would hope,
They tell you not to worry,
And they tell you not to mope...
But sometimes it's just too hard,
And you feel like you're the only
One to ever feel this way,
To ever be so lonely.

Written by Hayley Ross on April 14, 2000

Its 6:00 in the morning...Ive just come home after a 12 hour hectically crappy day at work....and God knows why I cant seem to be able to sleep...

Maybe it was the drive home in the cab that brought this immense sense of loneliness.....I guess it might be the part where the "last drop "is decided...

I suddenly realised,today, that I was the only person who was'nt in a hurry to go home...'coz i had no one to go home TO...I mean everyone else had a wife/husband ..boyfriend/girlfrend..whoever actually waiting for them to be home...and there I was..no one would even notice that I was late....

Why and how do the most mundane things like a cab drop bring these feelings?or is it a raw nerve that gets hit ??

I know i should be counting my blessings,i have a great family,wonderful job,an adoooorable dog...and should be content right now with that...

Then why the hell am i not??

Why am i wallowing in self-pity when I should be looking at the "silver lining"and be thankful that I atleast am not in a crappy relationship...??

But then maybe there is someone out there, just waiting to be swept off his feet....!!!

YOU(whoever u are) LISTENING??

lolz...i guess that's the way life goes .....

WOW.......

seriously.....wow...

cant believe that was me ,i mean just almost 4 months ago....that was what i thought i was...lonely..what would i know ,that just a month and two days later ..we would be deciding we were getting married ...

i know a lot of you out there must be thinking,thats too early ....but then,who decides that ??i mean is 3 years in a relationship "the right time" ??or do you just know when it is right ....??for people who think we might have been too hasty ...to each his own, ive never been judegmental about other people ....so..........well,fill in the blanks with whatever u want to !!!!ha ha ha !!

So anyways where was i ???

yes ,the changes ive gone through these last couple of months from wallowing in self pity to screaming off roop tops ..in euphoria.....from almost having nothing to come home to ....to having the whole world at my feet ...(yes i do believe that u,kanna gave it to me when u proposed !!)

from spending weekends curling up with a good book to spending them all travelling all night to just spend the day with u and come back and work agin on monday....

from looking at a pair of jeans to see how long it would last unwashed,to trying on a ghaghra choli ,and making sure the silk is amazingly smooth....(even knowing i wont be wearing it again soon!!)

from walking into a store and picking up a coupla t shirts in ten minutes...to shopping for designer gold jewellery all afternoon ..and most of the evening...

i HAVE come a long way.....thanks to u,kanna /(i mean that in a good way ,ok??)

So people ...who know me ,if the next time u see me , i'm actually walking past a book store without stopping to browse,please dont faint in surprise!!!!u will know that the person whose hand i would be holding is my fiancee,and if u see us after june 9th '06,he would be my husband,who falls asleep right after reading half the prologue of a book!!

I started this blog hoping to be a little melancholic about my past life...but then ,just the thought of u ,kanna,makes me smile...and be schoolgirlishly idiotic about us !stop doing that to me ...!!tee hee ...

1 comment:

buk vorm said...

AGAIN! scroll over the blank page to see the poem! thanks guys!